The sewing machine in the spare room has a dust cover on it now. Maybe yours is a set of golf clubs. When your other half needs more help each month, being a spouse caregiver tends to push your own interests quiet first. Senior Helpers knows that when this happens, your friends start to fade from the week too. 

You're Still You

You were a whole person before the diagnosis or the fall, with friends and opinions and a favorite way to spend a Saturday, and that person is still here. Caring for your partner is an act of love, and it can also take up every waking hour if nothing pushes back against it.

Spouse caregivers sometimes say they feel like a nurse and a chauffeur rolled into one. That wears on a marriage. Your partner may miss the version of you who came home with stories from choir practice or a round at the course.

Signs You've Been Pulled Too Far In

Look back at the last two weeks and count the times you left the house for something that was only for you. For many caretakers, it's zero.

Other signs are easy to miss. You stop returning texts from friends and turn down invitations on autopilot. Phone calls with your sister now cover only medications and appointments, and you can't remember the last time you laughed with someone outside the house.

Staying Yourself as a Spouse Caregiver

Prioritizing time for yourself while caring for a partner is crucial for your well-being. Engaging in activities outside of caregiving helps you stay connected to your identity.

• Pick one friend to call this week to maintain important relationships.
• Seek activities with a set time and location, like a weekly class at a senior center or a monthly breakfast with a neighbor at a familiar diner.
• Volunteering and joining a group built around a shared interest both turn up on the staying-connected list from the National Institute on Aging.
• Some hobbies you can share with your partner include sorting a shoebox of old photos together on a rainy afternoon.
• Always make sure to keep at least one activity that is just for you.

Asking for Help Without Apologizing

Spouse caregivers often avoid asking for help themselves. However, accepting support makes things easier with time:

• The Caregiver Action Network provides excellent guidance for family carers on looking after yourself while you care for a senior loved one.
• Most people will gladly say yes to a clear task, so highly specific requests work best.
• Have your son sit with your loved one every other Thursday, or ask a neighbor to pick up groceries on Saturday morning since she’s going anyway.
• Professional care providers offer in-home services like companionship, meals, light housekeeping, and daily routine reminders.
• Bringing in extra help gives your partner a steady, friendly face and gives you a few hours that are entirely yours.

Room to Breathe in Prince George's and Charles Counties

Somebody has to be home with your partner while you're at choir practice. A caretaker from Senior Helpers Southern Maryland can step in to provide companionship and support with the day's routine, so you can take time for yourself again. Our care professionals visit couples in Brandywine, Clinton, Suitland, Waldorf, and White Plains. Contact us, and we'll find hours that suit you both.