Sometimes the hardest question is one you've already answered. Imagine sitting at your mom's kitchen table in south Tempe when she asks, for the third time that morning, when Dad is coming home from work. Your dad passed away four years ago. You can tell her the truth again and watch her grieve all over, or you can find another way to answer.
If you have been in a moment like this, you are definitely not alone. Communication is one of the hardest parts of caring for someone with Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, and it is something almost every family struggles with.
What is the best way to talk to someone with dementia?
The best approach is calm, simple, and focused on feelings instead of facts. Use short sentences, give one choice at a time, and respond to the emotion behind what your loved one says rather than correcting them. Arguing about what is "real" usually leads to more frustration for both of you.
Communication tips that help
- Approach from the front. Coming up from behind or the side can startle someone with dementia. Make eye contact and say their name.
- Slow down. Speak a little slower and give them extra time to answer. Silence is ok.
- Keep choices small. "Would you like the blue sweater or the red one?" works better than "What do you want to wear?"
- Respond to the feeling. If Mom asks for Dad, you might say, "You miss him. Tell me about the day you met."
- Avoid "Don't you remember?" Even gentle quizzing can make your loved one feel embarrassed.
- Use touch and tone. A warm voice and a hand on the shoulder can say more than words.
- Step away when you need to. If you feel your patience running out, it's ok to take five minutes and try again.
Why does this matter in Tempe?
Tempe became Arizona's first Dementia Friendly city in 2015, which means more local businesses, first responders, and community spaces are learning how to support people living with dementia. That makes it a little easier for your loved one to stay active and connected in their community, especially when the people closest to them feel confident too.
How Senior Helpers of Tempe supports families living with dementia
We understand how overwhelming this can be. At Senior Helpers of Tempe, we specialize in Alzheimer's and dementia care for families in Tempe, Ahwatukee, and the surrounding areas.
Our Senior Gems Dementia Care Program was developed in collaboration with renowned dementia care expert Teepa Snow. It gives our caregivers specialized training to better understand and support individuals living with Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia. Depending on what your loved one needs, our caregivers can help with:
- Keeping a steady daily routine
- Calm, patient conversation and companionship
- Meal preparation and gentle reminders to eat and drink
- Medication reminders
- Bathing, dressing, and grooming
- Light housekeeping and laundry
- Activities they enjoy, like music, puzzles, and looking through photo albums
- Transportation to doctor's appointments
We also specialize in Parkinson's care, and our Parkinson's care training was developed in collaboration with experts from Johns Hopkins. We also participate in the Medicare GUIDE Program, which provides additional care coordination, caregiver education, and support for eligible individuals living with dementia and their families.
How do I get dementia care help in Tempe?
If conversations with your loved one have started to feel harder, we would love to help. Call us at 480-745-2493 and tell us a little bit about what's going on. We can set up a free in-home assessment and build a customized care plan, because we do not believe in a one size fits all.