How to Deal With Elderly Parents Who Refuse Help
Aging comes with complex challenges for adult children. Most elderly parents refuse help, which stresses and frustrates their children significantly, especially if the parents suffer from various chronic diseases such as diabetes, dementia, cancer, or cardiovascular diseases.
Why Elderly Parents Refuse Help
Understanding why they refuse assistance guides you in developing a practical approach to care for them. Fundamentally, aging is scary as it reduces one's ability to undertake various activities due to decreased strength and balance. Most elderly parents refuse help as they view it as a threat to their independence, pride, and self-sufficiency. In essence, freedom, dignity, and self-control define your identity. In addition, some elderly parents perceive being helped implies they are undesirable and undervalued in society.
Tips to Help Elderly Parents Who Refuse Assistance
Planning effectively on caring for your senior parents increases their chances of listening and accepting your help. You have to structure your help so that they do not feel like they are bothering you. The following tips guide you on how to help elderly parents successfully:
Understanding their motivations
Understanding the root cause of why your parents reject your assistance helps you know the approach to use to make positive change. For example, they might be worried about losing their independence, suffering from anxiety or depression, are confused, or have dementia. Assuring them that they will still be in control of their lives will make them accept your assistance.
Treat your parents like adults
Most adult children forget that their parents are mature and end up treating them like children. This makes them feel disrespected and undervalued. Giving parents the respect they deserve makes them feel appreciated and treasured. In addition, it creates an adequate negotiation ground, as the parents feel they are still in control.
Involve your parents in all your decisions about them
Coercing your parents to accept help is likely to be unsuccessful. Most of them feel that their children have subdued their autonomy and decision-making. Their only defense is to reject help to get attention. Involving parents while planning for their care, especially if they are ailing, increases the chances of accepting help. It assures them they are still in control of their lives.
Effective communication
Most elderly parents are fragile, especially those with underlying conditions. It would be best to communicate with them in a loving, compassionate, and accommodating way. Parents like being treated with humility, as it uplifts their self-esteem. Being authoritative and harsh to parents attracts resistance, especially if they are strong enough to fend for themselves.
Allow parents to choose their caregivers
Most elderly parents fear losing their autonomy to strangers. For this, they prefer being attended to by people they trust. Most elderly persons trust close friends, relatives, or community members. This ensures they do not lose their independence, as they can comfortably express their wishes to the caregivers.
Setting boundaries with difficult elderly parents
Some parents are difficult to deal with, especially when they make tiring and irrational demands. Some of the demands frustrate caregivers, leading to resignations. It would be best to let your elderly parents know that their caregivers will not honor any unreasonable requests.
Offer professional elder care support
Experts in elderly care succeed effortlessly in helping elderly parents. They have vast knowledge and skills of how to handle the elderly. Offering professional elder care support is crucial for elderly parents, as it maintains their vitality, health, and happiness.
Applying the strategies above guarantees your success in dealing with elderly parents who refuse help. Contact us at Senior Helpers to help you care for your elderly parents, especially if they have underlying conditions.